I'm thinking that, now that I've hit my 30s (ok, I've been in my 30s for a decent while), it's natural for me to go through a third-life crisis at least once a week. Where should I be? What should I be doing? What more is there to life? What's it all about, anyway?
I have to say that I have never been especially ambitious in life. I've never needed to be the top of the heap, never yearned for fame. Money, well... who doesn't want that? This lack of ambition, however, is a double-edged sword, as I've never had anything pushing me in a certain direction.
What do I know? Well, I've never been afraid to explore and move around, although, the older I get, the more I think I really ought to settle down. I can't help but think, though, that all this moving around has done me good. It's made me very open-minded about new situations. The only problem is that I yearn for something different all the time.
I also know that I've always liked solving problems, organizing events, writing articles, and meeting people. I've also always liked technology. Pushing buttons - woohoo! That's me. Show me a big red button, and I want to know immediately what it does. And I'm always the one who wants to know how it all works, and when it breaks, I'm the one hollering for it to be fixed. I have very little patience for people who don't need to have everything working all of the time.
So what am I saying? Well, I think it'd be cool if we could just meet people and trade jobs for a day. Like, constant secondment, a little of this and that here and there. I suppose that would mean that long-term projects would need to be put on hold, and I'd never want to leave anyone hanging. I just like change now and then.
Some countries give you the opportunity to take a career break to try something else. Sometimes, these breaks last a couple of years. I'd take that. My only problem is that I'd want a break every few years. I'm sure there would be a limit.
At this point in my life, I think I'd like to try:
* working in a tv studio, maybe behind the scenes in the control room
* test-knitting for a magazine
* bringing a project from sheep to sweater
* running a B&B
* writing for a knitting or crochet website
* a travel writer, but for countryside retreats
* an event planner with a team of people
Of course, one of the main pressures is my family. My parents paid for an education for me. Surely, I should be using it. My parents want me to be secure and safe. How could I go against those kinds of wishes?
I suppose life takes its own turns, and I should just wait and see what happens. The more proactive thing would be for me to find a goal and work towards it, but that, grasshopper, is the problem. My only goals in life are peace, mental stimulation, and a good laugh daily. Believe it or not, it's the last requirement I have the hardest time with. It's really easy to slip into melancholy.
The rub - wanting what I have right now. In Soak Up the Sun, Sheryl Crow said,
It's not getting what you want
It's wanting what you've got.
Which reminds me of something else - I wish I knew how to look as good on a surfboard as she does!
So, struggle on I will, but not without wistful gazes into the past and into the future.