Friday, February 26, 2010

Regrets... I've had a few...

I hate having regrets. Sometimes, they flood through my head... all those times I said things I shouldn't have, or didn't say what should have been said. Or bought something I didn't need, stayed up too late, got up too early, played a little too long, waited a little too long, or didn't wait long enough. Yep, we all have them.

Around the new year, something dawned on me (I'm not one for resolutions - it just so happened that the lightbulb came on around then). I realized that there are certain things that I never regret. I never regret getting up early to go for a swim or workout in the basement. I never regret passing over the chips and chocolate. I never regret getting a good night's sleep. And you know what? I think I'd like to spend more time not regretting things.

It's been that sort of attitude that has helped me to drop my Christmas binge fat. Holy schmoley, that was a struggle. I got back into the exercise routine in January, and I struggled. I couldn't believe how hard that was. Talk about regrets - I hope I never put myself in that position again. So, when we went to LA last month, I made a promise to myself to make sure I got some decent exercise every day, even if we were going to be out and about all day. I figured that I could always take a nap later if I got tired, but darn it, I was not going to struggle after the vacation. No way, smokey.

So, I'm really not sure if I'm going to regret lengthening my Twisted V Pullover, but I do know that, in the end, if it doesn't work out, it's not the end of the world. I have learned that I need at least a 16-inch length from the armpit to bottom hem, and not to rush it, because I WILL regret it later. It's been an interesting conversation in my head during this whole process:

"Hmm, that looks terrible. Oh well... maybe it'll look better after I wash it."

"Well, maybe not. It looks like I made a mistake with that stitch. I guess I'll have to pick the stitches out and start over."

"Start over?! But it's taken all week to get here."

"There's no point in doing this if you're just going to hate the way it looks in the end. Besides, what's the rush? There's no time limit on this."

And so on.

As much as it kills me to pick out all those stitches I made this week, it's a good zen practice. Sometimes, you just gotta rake the gravel in the zen garden until it's perfect... just because. And in the end, your mind is all the better for it.

Another example: the Charlie Brown Sweater I made for my friend's husband. I made a MAJOR mistake in the first week... I made the back about four inches too wide on each side. Eight freakin' inches too big on each side. My fault - I didn't measure until I made it past the complicated intarsia section. I whimpered. I sniffled. I tried a billion different scenarios in my head to make it work. And in the end, I knew that if I didn't start over and do it right, I'd regret it for a LONG time.

And it was worth it, because both my friend and her husband loved it. I am ever so glad and proud.

See? No regrets. Totally worth it.


Arron K-W said...

Thank you for posting this. It is always good to be reminded to live without regrets and to never regret the good stuff (like good choices).

And the sweater looks awesome - great job!!

AdrieneJ said...

Thanks, Arron - it's great to find people who understand my ramblings!

Meg said...

I love this sweater! Even before reading your post I felt that tickle of being a kid again.