These flowers grow outside the thrift shop downtown. I walk past there most days, and I've always admired their ivory-white, magnolia-like blooms. I have no idea what kind of flowers they are, except that they look like a perennial and that they must put on a show every year when they come into blossom.
A week or so ago, I noticed that one of them had fallen over. weighted down by their tremendous blossoms. It was sad to see something so beautiful toppled by its own body, its roots unable to hold it steady in sudden breezes.
I had to take a break from everything last week: from knitting, blogging, and well... everything. I forced myself to put my projects down, and to just sit and rest. I could feel myself growing top-heavy with all the thoughts racing through my mind, from the time I woke up at 5:30am to go to the gym to the time I went to bed after prepping all my stuff for the next day. I seemed to be approaching burn-out, trying to do everything perfectly and on time.
I didn't want to topple.
I've used this long weekend just to rest and to think about things... about how I have a tendency to tackle everything full-on and without rest until I fall over. The lessons I am teaching myself about being kind to myself are hard to follow, but they need to be learned. And if I need a break: if I skip the gym one morning and miss a blog post or just don't feel like doing... anything... well, that's ok, too.
Someone staked up the flowers, and they're growing nicely upright again. I think I've got a stake in the ground now to prop me up while I offload some of this brain-top-heaviness and chill out a bit. I think it's working, because last night, I actually felt like knitting, and I felt like finding a project to work on. I might just wind a skein this afternoon and daydream about it a bit.
It's nice to feel rooted again.