Sunday, August 20, 2017

Good and Not-So-Good

Live in the shadow of the moon until you're bright enough to give birth to your own suns. --Curtis Tyrone Jones
Short post today. It's been a time of goods and not-so-goods. Work is still very, very hard. I'm taking stands and setting my limits and pushing back while having good cries when I can. That's pretty ok for now.

Today, I went to a workshop I signed up for at a local yoga studio called Mantra and Mandala. We met at the studio and gathered for a group mantra chant. I've been so tired and weary that I don't get too worried about doing stuff absolutely right. I sat on my mat on my bolster and just joined in and enjoyed the vibration in my chest and the peace around me. That was good.

The next part of the workshop was to walk to the park in silence, noticing as many colours along the way. Before we left, I happened to remark that I had been stung by a wasp a couple of weeks ago for the first time ever. The area got hot and swollen and itchy for a couple of days, and then it settled down after I took an antihistamine. Heh. One of those things.

And then, we all wandered to the park, looking at all the colours around us without speaking, and when we got there, we sat down on blankets on the grass to talk about painting mandalas onto round stones. A mandala, simply put, is a circular pattern that is often used in Buddhist or Hindu practices that assist with meditative practice, both during its creation and afterward. Really, it was a little craft workshop with like-minded people. It was exactly what I wanted to do.

We crouched together and looked at the samples and paints and patterns. And... wouldn't you know it... while I was crouched forward, I felt a poke and some pain, and welp, there was my second wasp sting of my life. That was no-so-good.

Luckily, one of the others lent me this handy thing that help to slow down the swelling. She let me hang onto it to apply it every so often. While I still needed an antihistamine when I got home, the sting site was almost healed by the time I left. That was good.

As was all the painting. I can't tell you how wonderful it was just to sit and smile with the others and contemplate colours all afternoon. That was very, very good:

When we finished, we said our goodbyes, and I walked back to the parking lot where I'd left my car. When I got in, I started the engine and reached for a drink I had with me... some kombucha I wanted to try. Turns out, when kombucha is left to get warm in the sun for a while, it builds up pressure... and I summarily ended up with a huge spray gun of kombucha in my car. It covered me, the steering wheel, the driver side door... pretty much everything in front of me. I sat there in shock for a moment. Not-so-good.

I ended up taking a deep breath and just driving home. I appeared at our front door with a sad, sad face, and the hubby helped me clean up the car while I got into the shower fully clothed to wash the sticky drink off my body. So much for that.

Later this evening, I pulled out my rocks to look at them. It is surprising how they turned out: I tried to plan what I was going to do, but the rocks seemed to dictate for itself what they were going to look like:

This one keeps surprising me with its beauty every time I glance at it:

This one just seemed to want to remain as asymmetrical as possible... and it totally worked. What a nice reminder that not everything need be perfect to be beautiful:

Tonight, I'm getting ready for another week. It's no secret that I am very unhappy these days. It's to the point where I don't really care who knows. I am realizing, though, that even through the wasp stings and kombucha showers of life, I am fortunate still to have my health and my family with me. I am keeping those things close to my heart these days. They are good to have... and I am grateful for all that is good.

Have a good week.

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