No Mojo July

There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle. ― Albert Einstein

I skipped my blogpost last weekend for two reasons.

The first reason was I was getting over a week of headaches. Not headaches in the "annoying problem" sense of the word. I mean actual headaches. And a week of them is not something I am accustomed to living with.

I noticed that I was feeling kinda headachey after coming back from a run, and I attributed it to being a bit tired, maybe feeling hungry, maybe needing more water. But then they started to follow me through each day, making me tip my head this way and that, trying to stretch my neck and my shoulders. And then I noticed that I was taking pain killers a little more often than I normally would. And then I woke up in the middle of the night one night with one already in full force. And that was really not ok for me.

I am fortunate to work with people who can help me with these kinds of things. It took about a week of different things: a short massage, some needling, some poking and prodding and adjusting and stretching, and by the weekend (last weekend), I was feeling mostly back to myself, except I felt like I needed a weekend away from a screen just to be sure. And now I am happy to say I feel completely better, and I regard it as a total miracle. And I am grateful. I also feel so sorry to know that there are folks who live with that kind of pain all the time, and I am ever so much more empathetic to them.

The second reason I didn't post last weekend was that I am quite annoyed with my current project. I knew there was a reason I didn't make projects requiring crochet squares. It's because I really don't like making crochet squares. I am finding them tedious and uninspiring. I hate switching colours all the time. I hate having to remember what stitch I'm supposed to be doing next. And I keep finding other things I would rather do than work on these squares. I play on my phone. I wash pots and pans. I do yoga. I play more on my phone. It is not going well.

And yet: I am so stubborn about working on only one project at a time that I refuse to switch to something else.

I think I might have found a way to make the whole thing less annoying. I've been making the circular bits and then putting them aside until I have a few finished and then I blast through squaring them off with the neutral beige yarn. I think that is better, but I'll let you know once I make a few more:

I think another reason I've been so uninspired by it is because I've been having trouble making them all the same size, and I'm worried that I'm going to end up with a super wonky blanket at the end. This is the problem with not working with a full pattern: it really is an experiment that could go terribly wrong, and after weeks of work that could really, really suck. I decided this afternoon that I would finally take all the squares I'd finished and soak them and block them in stacks to force them all to be the same size (Isay that I decided that this afternoon, but I actually decided that last week and it's taken me seven full days to finally make myself do it):

It is a miracle that they are all actually blocking out to be about the same size. Thank goodness for that.

To be honest, I've been struggling the last couple of days to feel positive about stuff. I think I am not alone when I say that I'm getting weary of having to consider a global pandemic in just about every single decision I make. I'd really like stuff to go back to normal sometime soon. But that, as we know, will either take a lot more patience or another miracle. I'm open to both at this stage.

But when we went out today, I noticed a few pretty cool miracles out there, like this incredible blossom I saw growing on a tree at the park today. I have no idea what it is, but it is beautiful. I put my hand next to it in an attempt to show its size, but it's about the size of a large grapefruit and I think it will bloom to be about the size of my head:

I also saw this amazing rose arch whilst out on a walk a few days ago. How's that for inspiration?

And on another walk, Seymour brought my attention to this little eggshell on the path. I can't believe it hadn't been crushed yet:

And closer to home: the hydrangea that I over pruned last year is so heavy with blossoms this year that I've had to stake it up with whatever I can find in the yard. I don't normally cut garden flowers to put in vases, but I felt pretty ok about doing it this time, if only to reduce the strain on the actual shrub:

The flowers in the garden, in general, have been really impressive this year. This is what it looks like as I approach the house each day, and the sight stops me in my tracks each time:

After writing about all of those little miraculous bits of inspiration, I admit that I feel a wee bit better. I suppose I have to try more to see the world in the same way Mr. Seymour does: with eyes of wonder and adventure... and with special attention to the possibility of snacks:

Anyway, off to make dinner. Have a good week.