Change of Heart

You are always free to change your mind and choose a different future, or a different past. -- Richard Bach

A few years ago, I don't remember exactly when, and I don't remember exactly where, I saw a picture of a scarf. It was knit with beige yarn, almost the colour of oatmeal, and had pretty little shell-coloured round sequins or buttons sewn to it. I remember seeing it and thinking, "Oh, that's a pretty thing. I bet I could make that." And the thought intrigued me enough to start searching for some shell buttons or beads that I could sew onto a scarf. I found them online, and they were perfect: little beads in hearts and flower shapes.

And then I put them away and promptly forgot them.

A couple of weeks ago, I dug them out and thought: It's about time I made that thing.

The thing is, I couldn't really remember what it looked like, apart from the colour of the yarn and the beads, so I spent the next few days daydreaming about how I would knit it. I decided I would combine some plaited basketweave stitches with some simple cables and see what I ended up with. And I didn't really even know if it was going to be a scarf or a cowl or a... well, I wasn't sure what it was going to be.

So, I cast on with some Cascade 220 Heathers in a colour called Riverrock that I picked up from Knit and Caboodle when I was in Canmore a few weeks ago. I used a provisional cast on that would allow me to go back and knit a border at the beginning, if I decided that was what I wanted, or to graft the ends together if I decided I wanted a circular cowl. All the while, I was feeling pretty good about finally using those beads...

Except, when it came time to start thinking about exactly how I was going to use them, well... they really didn't work, no matter what I tried.

I fiddled with them for about half an hour. I moved them all around the piece, trying to convince myself that it was fine, that it would work somehow. Deep down, though, I knew that, like it or not, it was not meant to be. I'd have to change my plans. And my heart broke a little...

But then, I pulled out these little plastic jars that I keep my buttons in (I got the jars at a garage sale and knew they'd be perfect for my buttons). And once I found the right jar, everything fell into place.

I bound off with i-cords on both ends, blocked the finished piece, and sewed on some buttons...

Then I made little button loops using crochet chains...

Then, I put it on and smiled...

I smiled a lot.

It's too bad that my original little dream didn't turn out, but I guess it just wasn't meant to be. The beads are back in my stash, sitting there, waiting for me to figure out what to do with them. And really, I'm kind of glad, because I'd hate to have to force myself to like them in a project that wasn't in the stars to begin with. Far better to give them the project they deserve.

Back to the drawing board, I guess!