The Return of Inspiration Mondays: Resolutions/Explorations

Affirmations are like screaming that you're okay in order to overcome this whisper that you're not... maybe you're not okay. Well, no big deal. None of us is okay and all of us are fine.― Pema Chödrön, Start Where You Are: A Guide to Compassionate Living

I went for a run yesterday morning. It was my second run of 2016. It was difficult: far more difficult than the run I did only two days prior, even though yesterday's run was only slightly longer than the first one. I think I managed 7km instead of the 8km I had planned to do.

There are plenty of reasons why it was difficult:

• I'm breaking in a new pair of running shoes, and I'm still playing around with how to lace them so that my feet feel comfortable. 
• It was a frosty morning, and the trail I had planned to run looked a bit too treacherous for me to run on in a new pair of shoes, so I had to change my route.
• I was pretty winded from two weeks of not running, and a month of indulging on holiday foods.

But, for the first time in a long time, I didn't beat myself up about it. What would be the point? It's difficult EVERY new year. Why waste the energy berating myself when I needed to conserve the energy for basic breathing?

This year, I just jogged along, slowly, carefully, stopping when it became too much, starting when I was ready. Yes, I've been faster. Yes, I've been thinner. Yes, I've been lighter.

But I've never been this kind to myself. And that's a new hill to climb.

I have another running workout tomorrow, and I don't expect that one to be easy either. I don't know if it'll ever be easy, but neither is writing this blog or getting up at 5am every day or having to work for a living. But I can either do it, or I can not do it. The result is the same: time passes, no matter what we do.

Might as well keep plugging along.

Today, I'm inspired by all of these people who are stepping into gyms or lacing up running shoes for the first time, or who are trying out new habits for the first time. We call them resolutions, but maybe we should call them explorations: things we are trying out. Because there's nothing wrong with any of us... or maybe we all need a bit of work.

But we're all fine. I think I'm pretty ok, and I think you are pretty ok, too, no matter what you're trying to change about yourself.

Good luck, everyone.