Acceptance

The close cousin to gratitude is acceptance. --Michael J. Fox

I learned a lot of things this week. Indeed: I've learned a lot over the past year about myself, my wants and needs, my interests... honestly, it would be kind of nice to take a break from learning lessons. Does everything have to be a learning experience, really? Alas, that is not what life is. So here's what I learned:

I learned a bunch of lessons about acceptance this week. I took a break from my Midsummer Aran to work on my hat and mitt project for my friend @gotthatwanderlust. As they were inspired by her travel van, I had great plans for the fingerless mitts of trying to mimic some of the artwork on the van by experimenting with intarsia in the round. When it came down to it, I discovered that I might need to save that experience for a simpler, less time-sensitive project. In the end, I had to accept that I couldn't charge through and master it as quickly as I wanted, and I settled for a simpler striped version instead. They are lovely and fit perfectly, but I am still chasing the idea of learning intarsia in the round in my head. Oh well... next time:

I also learned that I can crochet a market bag in one day, including the handle. I had so much yarn leftover from the hat and mitt project that I decided I may as well make her a market bag as well. Oh, the joys of crocheting with a 6.00mm hook! I used the Serena Market Bag pattern for the main body of the bag, just changing colours for each section:

I added on the strap by just joining on at one end of the round and working single crochet rows until I ran out of the taupe-coloured ball, then joined it on to the other side. It turned out to be quite a satisfying, quick project, and it was a joy to give it to my friend and to see the surprise on her face. It's nice to hit the mark sometimes:

I finished those projects on Wednesday, but since then I've been dragging my feet to return to my sweater project. Apparently, I was so loathed to return to it that I felt it was a better use of my time to use my hand carders to fluff out the polyfill from the inside of my dog's bed while the bed covering was being washed. I'm not sure anyone would prefer to card polyfill... you have to be pretty darn motivated to do this job:

The reason I was avoiding the sweater project was that I was quite sure it was not going to fit. I have spent a few nights lying awake thinking about it... could I make it work? Was I being too fussy? Did I not understand how this garment was supposed to fit? I did eventually pick up my needles and start working on the sleeve, but I am not even sure this sleeve is quite right either:

And now, for the big lesson this week: acceptance. I've had to accept a lot of hard things this year, and this knitting project is nowhere near as big of an acceptance lesson as others I have had to learn, but I must say that ripping back 19 inches of a sweater right back to the bottom ribbing is not an easy one to swallow. I worried that it was going to be really hard to rip back since I was knitting this project with two balls of yarn held together. It actually turned out to be pretty easy in the end, and I think it might be a lot easier to knit it back up now that it's already all in one ball wound as a single strand. I felt terrible just before I took it off the needles, but once I started ripping back, I felt much, much better:

I must say: I do feel pretty sad that the pattern as written didn't work out. I had read a lot of reviews from other knitters on Ravelry complaining that the pattern was a big mess. I think designers get a lot of abuse, so I was optimistic that I would be able to wade through and make it work, but there are a lot of problems with this pattern, some of which are not the designer's fault. I found out that the stylists at Interweave Magazine ignored the designer's intention for this to be a loose-fitting garment, and they pinned the garment onto the model to show it as a more close-fitting sweater instead. Again, I thought I could work through that, but I also discovered that the “finished size" dimensions are also inaccurate. My sweater was going to be at least five inches too large around the bust, nowhere near where the schematic said it would be.

In the end, I've had to go back and re-write how I want this sweater to work. And while I am annoyed at wasting all that work and time, I suppose I've also learned the advantage of being a "polygamous" knitter. Having put this project down to work on the hat and mitts for my friend, I feel like I'm just starting a brand new project now, rather than having the "starting all over again" feeling looming over me. I feel quite sure that I am going to rip back that sleeve as well and re-do it to my liking. And honestly, I feel pretty ok about it.

I guess it pays to stray a bit sometimes. Heh.

I'm off work this week, so I'm feeling pretty optimistic that I am going to get a lot of good work done on it. Truthfully, I am feeling more optimistic than I have in a while, probably because I was able to get vaccinated yesterday as I work in a health clinic and we became eligible to go and get it. I cried when I found out we could get it. The worry and stress of having to deal with the ramifications with our patients and the general public if one of our staff contracted it was becoming more than I could handle. And while I wish with all my heart we could hurry up and get it to the rest of my family and to the rest of the world, I at least can see the light at the end of this long, long tunnel.

It's been a lot to accept. And yet here we are.

I hope you are well. Please take care and have a good week.