We'll See...

Embrace the stillness of January; find peace in the calm before the storm of the year unfolds. – K.J. Caleson

I've been floating along in life recently. That sounds peaceful, but I think of it as bobbing along in a boat, watching things coming towards me, seeing the creatures in the deep below me, wondering if they're going to come to get me, observing them going past, gazing at the horizon, wondering what will come next. Part of my melancholy is probably due to the exceedingly grey December we had: no snow, quite warm, but lots of rain, drizzle, fog. I looked out one day and wondered if I should join the likes of Mary Shelley... take some opium, write a horror novel. Luckily, I had other things to take up my time.

I was at loose ends with myself at the beginning of December, wondering what I start a new project, finding myself idle and quiet. I tried in vain to start a lace knitting project with beads that I'd been daydreaming about on and off for a couple of year, but I ripped it out after I realized that the yarn I had saved for it was not really suitable for it at all. In a fit of contrariness, I pulled out some super bulky yarn and the biggest needles I had a knit a huge, thick cowl for myself. It turned out exactly as I wanted it, a huge scarf that would go up to my eyeballs if I wanted it to. The only thing is that we have not had the cold weather for me to actually make use of it yet.

I also finished a cardigan a while back... I can't remember exactly when. I am so-so about it: I was worried about having enough yarn for it, as I'd bought the skeins for it a long time ago during a fit of retail therapy. I struggled with finding a pattern I liked, and I eventually just picked one so I could get some stitch counts to follow, then I knit my own stitch pattern myself. In the end, it turned out a bit too wide and a little too short, but it's warm and cushy and is nice to wear in the office on a chilly day. Ah well... you win some and you lose some, I guess:

I did have some triumphs over the holidays. We were invited over to a neighbour's house for Christmas, and I offered to bring dessert, so I made a Yule Log for the first time. I was very pleased with it in the end. I combined elements of various recipes I found online, including a whipped white chocolate and vanilla bean ganache for the filling and some meringue mushrooms to decorate it. It was delicious and delightful to look at, which, for a dessert, is a pretty good result:

I was also given a box of dates, which subsequently became my first attempt at a sticky toffee pudding. It was a resounding success, and I fully intend to make it again sometime:

Even better with cream poured on top:

I did eventually pick up the laceweight yarn again, because even though it was totally unsuitable for the original idea I had for it, it's still a beautiful yarn that deserves to be something. More than that: I have three friggin' skeins of it and I'd already wound two up into cakes. That effort alone should count for something. I played around with multiple ideas until I finally decided on this gull wing lace. I'm knitting it on size 2 needles. Yeah, I know... it'll take forever, but given that I've been working on this since late December, I'd say I'm making pretty good progress:

What is it? I think it's a sweater. Earlier on, I was ok with it possibly being another cowl, but as I sit and knit it and smooth my hands over it, I'm loving it so much that I'd be happy to carry on knitting it into a tunic. I have tons of this yarn, but it's a question of how much longer I'm going to be happy to carry on knitting it. We'll see, I guess:

I've been saying that a lot lately: we'll see. I'm not really committed to any kind of outcome these days, mostly because I'm struggling to find a purpose these days. 2024 was not my favourite year, and my grief for the loss of my mother carries on daily. Some days, it doesn't seem that hard to bear, then I find myself thinking about something I'd love to share with my mom and then I'm gone again. I don't know what to make of it, really. I guess: we'll see.

Luckily, I have a friend who is really good with checking in with me and going fun, creative things with me. Most recently, it was a mandala rock painting workshop. Painting rocks is fun, y'all:

We also did one back in October, I think. It was a sign painting workshop. The organizer pre-painted the boards and laid the stencils down for us to sponge paint onto it. I had fun mixing colours. I love the message I chose, and I really love the result:

Anyway, that's what I've been up to. It'll be February soon, and I'll be joining the local arts council to jury the upcoming spring art tour. I've never juried anything before, but I figure it's best to give it a go and get myself out of the house. You never know what may come of it.

Hope you are well. Thanks for stopping in.