Determined

I am not judged by the number of times I fail, but by the number of times I succeed: and the number of times I succeed is in direct proportion to the number of times I fail and keep trying. --Tom Hopkins

It's the time of year when I really feel the limited moments of sunlight during the day. It's a bit like running in quicksand: the more I try to get the most out of the limited daylight, the more sluggish and slow I feel. Mr. Seymour seems to have cracked it, though. It's best just to give in to the hibernation: 

I had a short discussion about creativity with someone this week. It went along the lines of, "Oh Adriene, you're so creative. I don't have a creative bone in my body."

And I thought about it for a moment, and then I said, "I don't know if that's right. I think I'm just stubborn. I don't like to quit until I bend things to my will... to the way I want things to be."

Not unlike this guy. He might be the most stubborn being I've ever met:

But the more I think about it, the more I think that idea could be refined a bit more. I don't know if I'm stubborn, but I think I am determined. I stay in pursuit of a vision for as long as possible so I can make something into the thing I am imagining in my head. And I do whatever it takes to get there.

Case in point: I am slowly making progress on my Spica Sweater. I've only just got it to the point where I have finished the sleeves and shoulders. It doesn't look like much for three weeks' worth of knitting, but small needles and small yarn will never be what you would call "instant gratification:"

I've been studying the photos from other people who have finished this pattern, and I am determined to make a change to the pattern slightly so that it is more flattering on me. See those skinny little stripes? They will eventually turn into thicker stripes, but I noticed that that change seems to occur right along the lines of the very widest part of the bust, nipple-height to be precise. And that seems weird to me. So I'm very carefully monitoring where these stripes start to change and will finagle the pattern to my will. I have no desire to bring uninvited attention to the nipple area. Not even for you.

But the pattern IS lovely, nonetheless:

Having said that, I think my determination has a limit. What I mean is: I know when it's best to quit while I'm ahead. Par example:

It's the time of year when I feel the urge to do some Christmas treat-making. I had grand designs in my head about making Christmas tree-shaped brownies, complete with cake pop sticks to hold them up. I made two trays today, one gluten-free and the other gluten and milk-free:

When it came time to figure out how to cut Christmas trees out of them, I looked at both cooling trays and shrugged my shoulders, and decided I just didn't have the patience for them. Besides that, everyone likes a wonky-shaped brownie, right? Some small, some big, and some just straight into your mouth:

So maybe my determination lasts until there is baking involved. And I think I am not alone in that:

Anyway, I feel pretty proud of my determined attitude. Sure, it sometimes leads to frustration (especially when I'm trying to make a person do something that they just don't want to do), but I think it also means that I am not afraid to try out my ideas. And if you don't try out your ideas, how do you ever grow? I see a lot of people decide right at the start line that they are going to fail. That makes me sad. It also makes me feel lonely because it's more fun to have a chuckle with someone else at a failed attempt than to forge on all by myself with no one else to accompany me on the journey... which is a state I seem to be finding myself in more and more lately.

I guess the darkness makes me introspective. And it also makes me hungry. I think I better try out one of those brownies just in case...

Have a good week!